Whoever said that we can make mistakes like how pencils have erasers didn’t use artist pencils. None of mine have erasers on them.
I’ve been at the same sketch for at least 1 hour trying to take a photo reference and making elements from a painting that look like it. I did my usual gestural sketch to try to get the placements right. Then after realizing, I realized I needed to do some proper perspective drawing, pulling in my guidelines to help fix my sketching.
Cue the ruler. After then getting all my boxes right, I then drew beautiful bowls. Only to realize they were all the wrong sizes in proportion to each other.
Struggling harder to fix things
A few more mistakes tumbled out. My lines started becoming tangents with one another. Note: they call this “tangents” in sketching if I recall – where shapes meet adjacent with one another and this draws more attention to that space which shouldn’t happen. Here’s a good resource on this.
So then I had to start moving things around. Erase everything over again.
I finally got to the point that the major elements looked right and then took a photo. Only to realize that some objects were much too small to the others.
By now, I’ve decided to stop as this is getting quite frustrating. This is the point where I have to put it away and then mull over my inept skills at making representational art. So, I’ve now started writing about all of this.
Self-deception of my skills
Most times, I’ll know if there’s a problem with my sketch. I’ll probably end up trying to deceive myself otherwise when I get too impatient and jump to painting. I find painting a lot more fun than sketching. Then, when my painting is done, I’ll regret having not fixed that foundational sketch, and the whole things remains in the bottom of my closet – a shameful act of me not being good enough to draw something quite right.
If I had more grace, then I think I would just see this as a step to getting better. But right now, I am only mired in my own self-frustration.
Idealism of artists vs real life
A fellow artist said to me quite nicely that we were our worst critics. That’s probably true. A kinder voice to myself would simply say that we need to take more time to get this right. And maybe…go a bit lighter on the scrubbing the paper with an eraser.
I think people idealize the art process, like I’m in some kind of fantastic studio with plants, natural light and colours and a cappuccino every morning. It’s more like everyday life, with ups and downs, and joys and annoyance.
I love sharing my art with people, and I revel in everyone’s delight. It’s the getting to that point that is can be downright awful sometimes.