I received my first rejection letter on my art in my application to a major art conference in Toronto. While it would be a blow, I’ve also been listening to the book Nobody Knows What They’re Doing by Lee Crutchley. It’s a book written for artists on their creative endeavours, discussing unique things that no one says to you, because they are uninspiring realities.

You suck

The first chapter says quite bluntly, “You Suck”. That said, it turns this reality on its head by discussing how this is a liberating feeling.

It says to see that my work is no good, either compared to others or to my future self. At some point in the past, what I thought my best work was, was also in comparison to today’s work, not that great. This is true.

Accepting that I suck allows me to fail, and fail badly. I’ve made so many terrible colour combinations in paintings, misshapen noses, weird body proportions. They all meet the expectation that my work isn’t all that great to begin with anyways.

It is better to create something badly than to not create at all. After all, we define artists by someone who makes art.

It is more paralyzing to make nothing at all because you believe it will not be good. This then feeds into the belief of never being an artist in the first place.

The problem with social media

The book also aptly describes the feeling of scrolling on social media and seeing every single artist whose work is better than yours, who has more followers, and more likes. The apps are designed this way.

This is geared to create a spiralling awfulness. Even knowing this, I cannot help but feel that way on my own social media accounts.

That said, as an artist today, it is impossible to not post on social media.

The book suggests we post up the unshiny works, the random stuff involved in our art process. Comparison is a losing battle where the house is stacked against us.

The inspiring bit is this: What I can do better than anyone else is only make my art – from my own unique experiences, behaviours and life. No one else can live the life that I have lived, and that is reassuring that only I can make that art.

New goal: fail 5 times

There is another concept the book discusses which is about setting fail goals. So rather than achievements of success, you set yourself goals to fail, and so every time you do fail (which will inevitably happen), it’s a step towards progress.

So for me, I would set a goal of “Being rejected from 5 art shows in the next year.” I already have a head start.

I’ll keep applying these concepts to tackle those creative dragons.